|
Ode to my Sigmoidoscopy
|
|
|
I was told that a Sigmoidoscopy, recommended for men over 50, was a medical procedure used to check for abnormal growths in the sigmoid colon. I was unaware at the time that the machine used to perform this exploration was actually a little larger than an ice hockey Zamboni machine.
I now personally believe that medical science has a hidden agenda with regards to any performed Sigmoidoscopy. Doctors are really looking for extra office parking space.
|
 | Got 4 months of lead time; the message was grave.
They'd use a large missle to jam in my cave!
The Doc said he needed to check in my tube.
I hoped that he thought to remember the lube.
I heard it was giant, that medical pole.
The problem was, mister, it went in my hole.
2000, June 2nd, at seven that morn',
he poked and he probed and he widened my horn.
They're pros at the clinic; that's open and shut.
I still was quite worried since I owned the butt.
I hoped my recov'ry went well, was my plan.
But now the Grand Canyon resembles my can! | | | I'm no poet, but these were my thoughts before that exciting medical procedure. I must say that it was painless, but it was quite stressful, both before and after. Before: I didn't know what to expect (or if I'd live); after: I didn't know what the results would be (they wait for your regular doctor to tell you the results). So if your doctor ever tells you to get a Sigmoidoscopy, take my advice. Aside from the obvious embarassment, it's nothing to worry about. I hear that only a small percentage of folks actually die after their insides are ripped apart by the tractor-drive on the Land Rover-size ass-ripper! | | | If you've read this far, boy do you need a life! |
|
|
|
|
